The Secret Recipe

Mr. Jam Man's Strawberry, Grape & Apple

Makes about eight jars. Takes one afternoon and a bit.

1. Take a large quantity of strawberries, a smaller quantity of grapes and two, maybe three apples.
2. Add sugar. A frankly alarming amount of sugar.
3. Squeeze in half a lemon and stir with the official wooden spoon while Harvey supervises from a safe distance.
4. Boil until it wrinkles on a cold saucer, about 104 °C. Do not answer the phone.
5. Pour into jars that have been through the dishwasher and then the oven, seal, and try not to eat it all before it sets.
6. Add love. Non-negotiable.